Caught off guard. Friday morning I wake up to two texts: one from my niece and one from my 20 year crush. I think, "Surely, he texted the wrong person, because he NEVER texts me." I was wrong, because he texted me for the next 36 hours, while on his bachelor weekend...begging me to come and more.
Apart from feeling stuck in some sort of Zach Braff movie, I couldn't deny my elation that he was thinking of me during this male bonding-through-debauchery weekend. At first, I thought it was just a drunk texting fluke and that he would pass out to wake up embarrassed for his faux pas. As it approached 3 o'clock, my phone filled with his texts...that idea soon lost its weight.
So, the rest of the day I tried to attach meaning to all of this:
He is getting cold feet.
He is definitely not ready to get married.
Am I just a "go-to" girl?
Am I only convenient to talk to because there is no commitment to be made?
What are his feelings for me?
Is he just an unfaithful person in general or does he let down his guard only for me?
Does he hold me in the same place as I do him?
Does he know what he wants in life?
Is he just pleasing his parents?
What are his friends thinking when he is texting all day?
Do they know who he is texting?
If so, are they attempting an intervention?
Why can't we ever be in the same place at the same time?
Needless to say, my head was filled with questions, no answers, and ridiculous visions of being swept away.
Why is it that it is always the man that shows up during the wedding ceremony, to declare his love for the bride and pull her willingly away from her confused groom, in movies and cheesy Journey/Jon Secada videos? Just a thought.
Don't worry, I will not show up at the ceremony. I do not want to know where or when...I'll just keep on pretending that this is just all
a farce.
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